


The Importance of Being Falcor Dormay

by AlocYrrehc



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hermione Reads Fanfiction, Post Divorce Ron & Hermione, fourth wall breaks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29771298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlocYrrehc/pseuds/AlocYrrehc
Summary: A/N: In which J. K. Rowling isn't on twitter but is really a witch who published the real-life story of the Wizarding Wars using a Muggle publisher. I don't own the characters, I'm not making money off them, I'm just moving them around to satisfy my own whims. Originally posted on FFN 12/1/2020
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	The Importance of Being Falcor Dormay

Hermione Granger couldn't sleep. She hadn't been able to sleep since the day she'd whispered "I want a divorce," through a veil of tears and Ron had responded "Me, too." Looking back, Hermione couldn't point to any one thing as the primary reason for their divorce, she'd simply felt… complacent. To their credit, Rose and Hugo had taken the news in stride, and after a few weeks of careful deliberation, they'd come to custody agreements and divvied their assets with little fanfare. It was the most amicable they'd been in years.

Yet, Hermione still couldn't sleep. She hadn't slept alone since her sixth year of Hogwarts, and she found without another person breathing in the same bed, or at least the same room, she couldn't fall asleep. It had been the same anytime Ron travelled. When the children were home she'd sneak into their rooms and drift off in the rocking chairs they'd kept for her sleepless nights, but now… her new flat seemed enormous and empty. She hadn't bothered with much in terms of furniture; it had been a difficult time at the Ministry and the children wouldn't be home from Hogwarts, so why bother yet? She was regretting her decision tonight, as every sound seemed magnified, bouncing off the bare walls.

The clock read 2:47 am when she finally gave up and padded into her living room, and, after a moment's deliberation, booted up her slim laptop. After her eighth year at Hogwarts she'd attended Cambridge to obtain her Master of Law, while also training in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and she'd been shocked to discover a book called "Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone," which was a remarkably accurate portrayal of her first year at Hogwarts. She'd also been shocked to discover somehow, this didn't violate the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, as it was presented as a work of fiction. Whenever she had trouble sleeping at university, she'd picked up the latest volume and reminisce. One of her Muggle roommates had introduced her to fan fiction, and she'd become entirely engrossed in the alternate realities these unaware Muggles had dreamed up for her and her friends.

She'd never told anyone, especially not Ron, how much she enjoyed reading the stories and lurking in the forums. Hermione logged on and started reading, but her usual favorites held no interest for her tonight. She'd been thinking of only one person tonight: Draco Malfoy. She'd seen him for the first time since the war him two days prior, at the Hogwarts express. Although their children were in the same year at Hogwarts, and rather good friends, Malfoy had moved to Scotland after losing most of his fortune paying reparations, and he was rarely seen outside of his small social circle. His wife had died in childbirth, and it seemed he had no interest in the outside wizarding world, not that she could blame him. Still, she thought, he'd grown into his looks, no longer pointy but angular, and quite fit…

She cast a furtive look around, then laughed out loud at herself, who was there to see after all? Summoning every last shred of Gryffindor courage, she carefully typed the letters: D-R-A-M-I-O-N-E. A quick scan of the titles and descriptions left her flushed but curious. She was shocked to see how many Muggles wanted to see her and Draco together. She shut her computer abruptly. This was ridiculous, wasn't it? She opened it back up, only to shut it and open her phone. She had too many Muggle friends not to have a cell phone, and today she was grateful for its portability. Maybe she'd draw a bath, and just relax and read some harmless stories. Yes, that would be all…

She woke the next morning nearly at lunchtime. After a most relaxing bath, she'd returned to her bed and quickly fallen into a deep and restorative sleep. Her furtive imaginings from the night before tucked firmly away, she decided she could no longer put off furniture shopping, and flooed to Diagon Alley the moment she was dressed. Several hours and quite a few galleons later, Hermione found herself sitting alone on the patio of Salem's Sandwiches, her favorite spot for a leisurely lunch these days. Pulling out a book she'd charmed the night before to display some of her new reading material, she settled into a long story featuring Malfoy stuck in her dorm room with her when a familiar voice sent a river of ice down her spine. "If you're waiting for the good stuff, Granger, you should skip to chapter 16."

She looked up to see Draco Malfoy standing behind her, apparently reading over her shoulder. Mortified, Hermione did her best to feign nonchalance as she casually rearranged herself to hide her book. "What's in chapter 16?"

He leaned close to her, his mouth to her ear as he whispered, " _That's when we finally fuck_."

Hermione had gaped after him for several moments after he'd disapparated before she truly registered what he'd said. She flipped to chapter 16 and realized he was right. Which meant… Draco Malfoy read Muggle Harry Potter fanfiction?


End file.
